A snippet from my memoir…..

“Pig” he said as I carried the dinner plates to the table. Tears mustered behind my eyes, our guest choked a little on his water and tried to act like he didn’t hear it. I sat their dinner plates down and stepped backwards before I turned around to head into the kitchen “beep beep” he chuckled under his breath; this time my tears poured out. I looked down to my bulging belly and caressed it. Dare I reply? Or just brush it off…. Was it worth a fight? Replying would cause just that.
My little Alex squirming inside, nothing could take away the joy I felt with every movement, but the jokes, the mean comments and degrading remarks were wearing me down. I was often told that I disgusted him – and that when he pictured my fat pregnant body it made him sick to his stomach.
I had once felt very pretty, to the point where self consciousness was a mental state, not a physical one. I had felt beautiful even while I was pregnant, my belly round and soft – holding the most beautiful creation I had ever experienced in my life – but not to him. To him I was trash…… He pointed it out so much that slowly I began to see myself through his eyes and my beauty faded away…….


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