70% of Batterers Who Ask For Custody Get It: The Family Court Mafia

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During the past two decades, mothers have been losing custody of their children (even nursing infants) in increasing numbers to fathers who are convicted or identified batterers, child molesters, drug addicts, gang-bangers and felons. Family courts force children into the custody of abusive fathers at alarming rates, allowing these men to continue controlling and abusing their victims. Research shows that 70% of batterers who ask for custody get it. Safe mothers who left the abusers in order to protect their children are frequently labeled “unfriendly” and are inappropriately ordered to supervised visitation or denied all contact with their children.

The Leadership Council found more than 58,000 children every year are ordered into unsupervised contact with physically or sexually abusive parents following a divorce. Children very rarely lie about these things. And the reports are coming from the children. Even when they’re switched over to the custody of the batterers and the molesters, continue to report abuse. And they’re ignored

Women who were outspoken about their domestic violence allegations actually received less protection for themselves and their children. Many custody evaluators recommend custody to abusive fathers on the assumption that mothers either exaggerate the violence or are deliberately alienating their children from their fathers as a tactical advantage. Another reason judges give custody to the abuser is financial; over a quarter of the protective parents have reported filing bankruptcy as a result of fighting for custody of their children. The average cost of a court proceeding was reported to be over $80,000. These findings are particularly disturbing given that children exposed to domestic violence show similar levels of emotional and behavioral problems as children who were the direct sufferers of physical or sexual abuse. The court system does not want to believe that a well-spoken, charismatic man could really be a savage wife-beater or child abuser. It is easier to believe that his traumatized, sleepless, frightened and rapidly impoverished wife is lying, exaggerating or imagining things

Most are battered women who tried to flee domestic abuse to save their children, only to end up mired in our nation’s family courts, unable to protect them at all. Mothers who speak out about system failure often face judicial retaliation and lose what little time they have with their children. The unregulated cottage industry keeps churning, generating hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees to experts, while some of the worst cases settle only when the children turn 18. This is a national epidemic that is destroying families across America.

 

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It’s time to leave…..

Did you know?

  • That a woman is beaten every 15 seconds
  • About one out of every four women in America will be physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner at some point in their lives
  • Approximately 2 million to 4 million women are abused annually in the United States.
  • 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
  • Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  • 81% of women stalked by a current or former intimate partner are also physically assaulted by that partner; 31% are also sexually assaulted by that partner.
  • Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

Protect your children: Did you know?

  • Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
  •  30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
  • Children who witness domestic violence in the home often believe that they are to blame, live in a constant state of fear and are 15 times more likely to be victims of child abuse.
  • Children can suffer from Post traumatic stress disorder  from exposure to domestic violence. Symptoms are nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, increased alertness to the environment, having problems concentrating, and can lead to physical symptoms.
  • Children exposed to domestic violence are likely to develop behavioral problems; regression,  out of control behavior, and imitating behaviors. Children might believe violence is an acceptable behavior of intimate relationships and become either the abused or the abuser.

Can you leave? YES!

Leaving an abuser IS dangerous. But, in order to do it as safely as possible, you should plan ahead:

  • Pack a bag ahead of time: Include items such as extra clothes, important papers, money, extra keys and prescription medications. Purchase a pre-paid cell phone and keep it in the bag for emergencies.
  • Gather a set of important phone numbers that you can have on you and contact if necessary. Some women will memorize three important phone numbers, just in case their cell phone is destroyed or their landline is disconnected. Have extra keys made for your car and for your house, in case the abuser takes the original set.
  •  Inform the people close to you know that if you don’t show up for work or something happens out of the ordinary to call the police.
  • Create a code word that you can use with friends and family, so if you are in danger, they know to call the police for you.
  • Find a safe place to meet friends or family in the event of you having to leave with no phone – or money. If you are missing for so many hours your friends or family will know where to find you. (Somewhere you can get to quickly and safely)
  • Know where you are going – find the local women’s shelters and make the arrangements a head of time.
  • Take your kids WITH you. Do NOT leave them behind – the abuser WILL use this against you in court and will have to fight for custody EVEN if he is convicted for domestic abuse to you and your children.
  • Call a local women’s shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) to find out about legal options and resources available to you.

While making plans to leave, avoid making long-distance phone calls from home or on your cell phone.Your abuser could be tracing or monitoring your calls and find out where you are going. They can also monitor your Internet activities and access your e-mail account: Create a new email account at a local library or outside source and keep  your passwords and user names secured.

The most dangerous time for a woman in a violent relationship is when she is leaving. Most homicides occurring in an abusive relationship happen during or after the victim leaves. Do NOT let your guard down.

For more information….

NCADV
http://www.ncadv.org/
Anonymous and Confidential Help 24/7:
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)  1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

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Speak up for those who can’t…

This PSA speaks volumes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYWMe7cTsRs

Stop hiding from the reality of this crime….

For more information visit:
http://www.thehotline.org/
 Or call:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)