It’s time to leave…..

Did you know?

  • That a woman is beaten every 15 seconds
  • About one out of every four women in America will be physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner at some point in their lives
  • Approximately 2 million to 4 million women are abused annually in the United States.
  • 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
  • Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  • 81% of women stalked by a current or former intimate partner are also physically assaulted by that partner; 31% are also sexually assaulted by that partner.
  • Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

Protect your children: Did you know?

  • Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
  •  30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
  • Children who witness domestic violence in the home often believe that they are to blame, live in a constant state of fear and are 15 times more likely to be victims of child abuse.
  • Children can suffer from Post traumatic stress disorder  from exposure to domestic violence. Symptoms are nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, increased alertness to the environment, having problems concentrating, and can lead to physical symptoms.
  • Children exposed to domestic violence are likely to develop behavioral problems; regression,  out of control behavior, and imitating behaviors. Children might believe violence is an acceptable behavior of intimate relationships and become either the abused or the abuser.

Can you leave? YES!

Leaving an abuser IS dangerous. But, in order to do it as safely as possible, you should plan ahead:

  • Pack a bag ahead of time: Include items such as extra clothes, important papers, money, extra keys and prescription medications. Purchase a pre-paid cell phone and keep it in the bag for emergencies.
  • Gather a set of important phone numbers that you can have on you and contact if necessary. Some women will memorize three important phone numbers, just in case their cell phone is destroyed or their landline is disconnected. Have extra keys made for your car and for your house, in case the abuser takes the original set.
  •  Inform the people close to you know that if you don’t show up for work or something happens out of the ordinary to call the police.
  • Create a code word that you can use with friends and family, so if you are in danger, they know to call the police for you.
  • Find a safe place to meet friends or family in the event of you having to leave with no phone – or money. If you are missing for so many hours your friends or family will know where to find you. (Somewhere you can get to quickly and safely)
  • Know where you are going – find the local women’s shelters and make the arrangements a head of time.
  • Take your kids WITH you. Do NOT leave them behind – the abuser WILL use this against you in court and will have to fight for custody EVEN if he is convicted for domestic abuse to you and your children.
  • Call a local women’s shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) to find out about legal options and resources available to you.

While making plans to leave, avoid making long-distance phone calls from home or on your cell phone.Your abuser could be tracing or monitoring your calls and find out where you are going. They can also monitor your Internet activities and access your e-mail account: Create a new email account at a local library or outside source and keep  your passwords and user names secured.

The most dangerous time for a woman in a violent relationship is when she is leaving. Most homicides occurring in an abusive relationship happen during or after the victim leaves. Do NOT let your guard down.

For more information….

NCADV
http://www.ncadv.org/
Anonymous and Confidential Help 24/7:
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)  1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

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The scars of abuse are not always visible…..

Domestic abuse:
There is a way out. You’re not alone

I haven’t found the all the answers but my goal is to create a community of women, strong women who will rise above the hands of their abusers and create a new reality. A reality where domestic abuse is not the sad statistic of 1 in 4 women like it is now. A reality where 70% of women who testify in court lose custody of their children to their abusers. A reality where social media isn’t immune and desensitized by the battered woman.
This is a place to share your story, express your feelings and reach out to others who have been or are in your shoes. What tactics have worked for you, which ones haven’t.
The business of abuse is overly abundant in our court systems. Judges, attorneys, and court appointed investigators (cps/dhs) decide your fate and the fate of your children.
Abuse is something that is punishable if its to a neighbor, a stranger, or someone outside the home – but when a man abuses his partner or child it’s his right in the eyes of the court. Without “proof” you are characterized as crazy and the abuser continues to abuse you through the court system until you surrender. And then you  begin to ask yourself if they are right after all…

I want to share my story with you. It’s ending yet to be told; but my personal growth, spirituality and knowledge of a corrupt system is overflowing with information that could be beneficial to you or someone you know.